Ini wajah gue. Ini ketika usia 19 tahun. Dan sekarang udah 19 lebih dikit Satu hal yang selalu membuat manusia tak pernah berhenti berjalan adalah karena ia belum pernah menemukan jalan yang tak ada batasnya. Ketika kaki menemukan jalan, ia akan berjelan. Semakin jauh ia melangkah, ia akan terus dan terus berjalan hingga suatu ketika, jalan tak lagi ramah. kalaupun tak ramah, ia bisa membuat 'ramah' jalan itu dengan sentuhan lembutnya atau justru menemukan dunia yang merupakan tantangan bagi jiwa yang terus berontak.
Adalah hal yang wajar dan lumrah jika aku, manusia dengan segenap akal dan nafsu, mencoba menemukan dirimu di sela-sela lipatan tirai hati ini. DAn bukan hal yang asing jika aku menaklukkanya dnegan menjadi pengkhianat bagi rasa rindu yang memuncak di ujung kelemahanku.
Juga, tak perlu aku meminta kepada jiwa ini untuk mencoba mencari tali dari akar perdu belantara yang bisa mengusir dahaga ini. Barang kali, dunia akan berusaha untuk memahamiku. Bahwa dunia kita memang berbeda. Tak kurang akal jika aku mencantumkan alasan dalam undangan untuk meninggalkan barang berharga yang teergeletak begitu saja di malam yang berlalu tanpa mimpi.
Duhai jiwa yang juga merasakan dunia berhenti berputar. Saksikanlah, mentari tak lagi bersinar. malam tak lagi kelam. siang tak lagi meyajikan lapang. Aku adalah api yang panas.
Menundukkan angin yang menyembunyikan kedinginan. Menawarkan hamparan belukar. [j]
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